I picked up one of those fundie-flyers in the parking lot today:
It has the usual drek inside. In this case the mark of the beast will be "a new world order featuring a complex and complicated system to administer and track the movement of people, equipment, goods and finances." Sounds like somebody is lifting liberally from their old Economics 101 textbook. But I thought this part was funny:
What To Do In Case You Miss The Rapture:
1. Stay calm and do not panic. (Insert scene from Chicken Run. AAAAHHHH!!!!)
2. Realize that you are now living in the Great Tribulation. (Are there lots of Tribles around?)
3. Pray like you have never prayed before in your life. Start by repenting for your sins. (I'll be at the gym exorcising)
4. Do not take the mark at any cost. (Sucks to be you if you live in Germany. Oh wait, they're Euro'd now)
5. Set a plan in motion for survival. (Eat the tribles!)
6. Trust no one. (Wow, that's a good Christian thing to say)
7 Watch for the Antichrist. (I thought it was Saddam Huissen, according to Weekly World News)
8. Don't give up hope! (We're screwed! AAAAHHH!!!!)
ps Lo! The mark of the beast!:
5 comments:
Say Fristian, how come I aint on your links list ?
The other thing is - I think Mom might want a blog of her own ; but I aint sure .
She's using my user ID to comment Suzies etc.
"Rapture " - I never heard that Blondie song . But I think you asides are fairly clever .
This kind of thing cracks me up. Satan will have a scanner with him to read our bar codes, just like at Costco!
As long as they don't point the scanner at our eyes and blind us, I'm fine with it. What I want to know is if that barcode actually means 666 or if it was torn off a package of Fritos.
Back in the 90s, there was a brisk trade in home videos purporting to prove that Clinton was the antichrist and that he was going to have everybody tattooed with a UPC code since that, as we all knew then, was the mark of the beast. I saw a guy on TV demonstrating how any barcode could add up to 666. Or, attempting to, at least.
Now, of course, we know that RFID chips are how they're going to enslave us. But I still think that the rapture will turn out to be a cosmic draft, in which the true believers are given cheap swords and sent out to fight the demon hordes while the angels hang out in the safety of heaven.
I've been saying this for YEARS!!! Finally a brochure I can hand out at parties and festivals.
We all can go and hand theses out. . . anyone for a carpool to the puyallup???
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